I've been thinking a lot lately about "experts." What makes an expert? I don't know. All I know is that talk shows and the news love to "bring in" "experts" to talk about subjects that most people don't think they know much about. A lot of these experts have really different opinions, so it makes me wonder whether some of these experts are really using all this expert knowledge they're supposed to have.
("Expert" is a weird name. Did they used to be pert? "Expert" sounds like something a sad aging man would call his wife)
Anyway this makes me think I should do a "blog column" about the things I would say if I were an expert. First I am going to be an expert biologist.
If I were an expert biologist I would believe in evolution. I have heard that there is a lot of evidence that people used to be monkeys and monkeys used to be fish and that fish used to be germs. I am still confused about where the germs came from, though. Maybe Adam and Eve were germs? I don't want to bring other people's religions into my expert argument, so let's just say that the germs evolved from smaller dumber germs.
If I were a biologist I would think that having sex is okay. There are lots of good reasons to have sex which is why our brain wants to do it so much. There is a whole "reproductive system" so that we can! That would be like saying that it is not okay to eat, even though we have stomachs. There are other things that we don't have systems for, like murder or pollution. Those activities are not right so we did not "evolve" parts of ourselves that do those things.
What questions would you ask a biologist, or what biological facts do you know? Tell your "friends" they can leave comments too!
With all my hopes and dreams,
Matthew Elpiejumpers
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